I am finally getting to know myself. I understand why I react in certain ways to social situations (introvert) and I am finally confident enough to pursue the life that makes me happy without feeling pressure to be popular or trendy or fit in. It is absolutely liberating to make choices that are meaningful and to adopt a lifestyle that FITS and fulfills and inspires. It is great to be 38 and OWN IT.
My little crew of men and I are in the "sweet spot" of life, as a friend called it. My kids are healthy, bright and learning so much every day. My parents are 3 miles away, independent and healthy and supportive--still here to teach me and guide me and love my kids without conditions. There aren't words to express how much that means to me. My Husband is a wonderful provider; he encourages me to pursue my interests--he gives me the time and support I need to do so. When I look back on my life, when I am old, really old, if I am lucky enough to get there...when I look back I know that these days that I am living right now will be the ones that stand out as the most wonderful because we are all here together. I want to fill these days with all the smiles and hugs and high fives and tickles and atta boys that are possible. We are in the sweet spot alright, and we are going to enjoy it like there is no tomorrow.
I asked for a wheel barrow for my birthday. Sturdy, practical, strong, not unlike myself. We are all about experiences, not things, and I knew when I asked for a new wheel barrow my 5 year old remembered the hours we spent last year "popping turds" from the cows off the frozen ground and hauling to the compost and garden beds. He loved it, and I loved that he loved it. The kids have kept it a "secret" all week in the shed and there has been much delighted giggling and whispering. Today, now that the secret is out, there have been wheel barrow rides and shouts of joy. That's all I needed today and it's all I'll need any day. Keep us healthy, keep us together, let us fill the wheel barrow together over the years. That is all I'll ever need.